Raising children can be challenging at times…raising challenging children can be exhausting.
You’re repeating yourself a thousand times a day.
You’ve tried timeouts, bribes, threats, taken away priviledges, and yelling to get your children to listen….but nothing works.
You’re not sure what to do next…you’ve tried everything to no avail…you are fearful that it’s only going to get worse.
Your exhausted and your life feels like a never-ending struggle…
I get it and have been where you are…
I started a second family at 40, at the time was working full time outside of the home, managing a household, caring for kiddos with challenging behaviors and special needs, packing lunches, and running kids from school to therapy appts in between melt downs.
I felt totally inadequate and very alone on this journey…family didn’t understand what it was like to raise children that came from neglect and abusive homes and friends while well intentioned, couldn’t relate.
At the end of the day, I was drained and the only thing I wanted to do was go to bed, pull the covers over my head and pretend that this hell I was in wasn’t my reality!
I was tired, I had no energy or motivation, my tanks were empty, I was growing bitter and resentful and most of all I didn’t like who I had become…
So what changed? I DID….
I HAD TO CHANGE…I had to focus on ME! To work through my own triggers, baggage and learn to forgive not only others that had hurt me but also myself. WOW…that last one, let me tell you, it.was.hard! I had to look myself in the mirror and realize the voice I heard in my head was the same recorder my children were learning! #mindblown
I had to decide to take care of myself first (and let’s be honest, this one is ALWAYS a work in progress)!
I had to learn that the energy in which I was using to react to my childrens behaviors, was the same energy that my children craved and ultimately served as a reward for thier negative behaviors!
Which meant, I needed to learn to change how I reacted to every little thing so it didn’t amp them up, change how I interacted with my kids (truly connecting with them and filling them up)…the hardest was to learn to not take every word my kid said so personally.
Once I started tweaking my reactions and interactions and started to truly connect with my kids, changes happened.
Not overnight…but gradually. There are still seasons when I feel myself sliding back to my old ways but even in those moments, I am able to catch myself and it won’t escalate to where it used to be.
I know what it is like to be in the thick of raising kids who are energy challenged…I have made it mission to help families get out of the trenches and being to experience hope, restoration, relationship, healing and connection.
You can have the family you always wished, prayed and dreamed of…it may just require a small detour to get your family back on track.